


It’s Okay as Long as I’m With You (All of You)

by Acexual_Attorney



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, Its just feelings, M/M, hui loves his members a lot okay, ot10 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 10:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14566941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acexual_Attorney/pseuds/Acexual_Attorney
Summary: Hwitaek contemplates when and where his feelings started





	It’s Okay as Long as I’m With You (All of You)

**Author's Note:**

> o look i finally wrote for my ult group go me yay
> 
> also pls appreciate ot10 im love them very much this is my word vomit abt hwi appreciating his members like yall should appreciate ot10

Hwitaek was never really in tune with his emotions, especially when he was a kid. He felt them, obviously, but he could never put words to the emotions swirling in his stomach. Instead of explaining why he was upset when frustration kicked in, making him red-faced and too hot all over, he cried. Instead of expressing his joy with smiles and laughter, making him light-headed and floaty, he cried. Instead of ranting about his stressors when they got too pent-up, he cried.

Long story short, Hwitaek cried a lot when he was a kid, but that’s not the point.

(You still cry a lot,” Changgu would argue.

“You’re just as bad,” Hwitaek would reply.)

The point is, being in charge of nine other people requires a lot of emotional responsibility. It’s his job to make sure everyone is okay and that they’re working together to the best of their ability. He needs to be able to put his emotions on the back burner so that everyone gets the support and love they need.

That being said, it was hard to ignore his own feelings when everyone is so tightly intertwined together. Whenever Jinho got upset, so would everyone else, including Hwitaek, no matter the reason. Hongseok says that they’re all empaths, that they can’t help but feel everything that happens to each other. They looked out for each other.

But still, it was hard to pinpoint when Hwitaek started feeling like _this_. Like his heart was going to explode every time he saw one of the members. Like he was warm all over when they disregarded Cube to spend the night in one dorm or the other, pressed together in the living room with a movie on the TV and blankets spread out over them. Like the world finally listened to his prayers when they debuted as 10, like his fighting with Cube wasn’t for naught when Shinwon and Yanan and Hyojong came back.

“Pentagon isn’t Pentagon unless it’s ten.”

Hwitaek knew this for a fact, said it so often that it was ingrained in his mind and tattooed to the back of his eyelids. They fought so hard to get everyone back, fought so hard for _someone_ to see what they meant to each other.

Maybe that’s when Hwitaek realized they were more than family.

Maybe it would be easier to explain if he started from the beginning.

It would be hard to name a specific time that Hwitaek fell in love. It started out with Hyojong easily enough. They got along perfectly, and they trained together the longest. Both loved skinship and staying up well into the morning just talking about nothing. Hyojong knew Hwitaek better than Hwitaek knew himself and vise versa.

Of course Hwitaek wouldn’t really describe it as _love_ starting out, more like a really strong _like_. That being said, he didn’t even realize that his feelings were boring more on romantic than platonic at first until Hongseok pointed out the longing looks and lingering touches. Then again, Hwitaek also looked at Jinho and Hyunggu a bit too much, holding Yanan and Shinwon’s hands tight when he got the chance, but that wasn’t until later.

At the time, Hwitaek just thought, “Oh.”

“Oh, I like my best friend.”

And then everything started falling into motion.

Hyunggu was next, like it was natural. Hwitaek literally saw him grow up and it was an extremely strange yet proud experience to see Hyunggu go from a cute teenager to the (still cute) mature adult he is now.

It felt weird when Hwitaek realized he like Hyunggu too. Not that he was panicking over the fact that he liked _two_ of his best friends, but the fact that Hyunggu was so _young_. Of course there have been bigger age gaps, and Hwitaek would trust Hyunggu with his life, but Hyunggu was still in school and it felt extremely weird as one of the eldest hyungs to be crushing on one of the youngest maknaes.

But Hyunggu was just so _amazing_ that Hwitaek couldn’t help himself. He felt himself slipping farther and farther in love and at this point he was completely head over heels. Everything from the way Hyunggu smiled sweetly at everyone to how he put his all into dancing and singing- Hwitaek was practically breathless thinking about him.

But two crushes weren’t bad. Hwitaek could live with two crushes.

That was until Jinho happened.

Don’t get him wrong, Hwitaek always held a very specific admiration for Jinho, looked up (down?) to him and how his vocals gave everyone chills. It was stunning how effortless he made everything look when it came to performing.

But Hwitaek thought that was where it ended: admiration. Somewhere between ogling at Hyunggu and blushing every time he thought about Hyojong, he thinks he might have developed feelings for Jinho as well. It was harder to pinpoint because Hwitaek already felt his heartbeat pick up around Jinho. Maybe it was because of how utterly cute his hyung could be without realizing.

And since Hwitaek told practically everything to Jinho, he confessed his feelings late one night when he stayed with dorm b, all shaky hands and nervous laughter as he somehow stuttered out his feelings to Jinho as they shared a bed. He hadn’t even told Hyojong or Hyunggu that he liked them yet, but here he was with his knees pressed against Jinho’s and Jinho looking up at Hwitaek like he was the only thing that mattered at the moment.

“It’s okay,” Jinho had whispered once Hwitaek took a breath so he wouldn’t start crying. He took Hwitaek’s hand in his own and tried to rub soothing circles into his skin. “It’s okay to like me. If it makes you feel any better, I like you, too.”

Hwitaek felt like his chest was about to burst when Jinho pulled him into a hug. His breathing was uneven but Jinho was there, always there, a constant. They fell asleep like that, Jinho running his hands through Hwitaek’s hair and Hwitaek gripping onto Jinho like his life depended on it.

Something about spilling his guts to a trusted friend (boyfriend?) made everything shift into place. Jinho was able to talk to him about his feelings as well: how he thought he harbored more than platonic feelings towards all his dongsaengs.

Maybe Jinho confessing as well slightly influenced Hwitaek, but he found himself contemplating how he felt for the other members as well.

He knew he loved Yanan, that was for sure. From the first moment he stepped of the plane, Hwitaek had wanted to protect Yanan, even if he could beat Hwitaek up with his eyes closed. There was a specific fragility about Yanan. He was nowhere near fluent in Korean and was too innocent for his own good and needed reassurance when he felt like he wasn’t doing good enough.

Hwitaek thought this love was purely protectional, but thinking more about it, he realized just how much he would like to hold Yanan’s face in both of his hands and shower his eyes, cheeks, nose, lips, jaw, forehead with kisses.

“I don’t blame you,” Jinho had said when Hwitaek relayed his newfound discovery, “he’s too handsome it hurts sometimes.”

Then there was Changgu who, just as handsome as Yanan, made Hwitaek’s heart skip a beat. He was supportive and a great listener knew when to give advice. Hwitaek leaned on Changgu more than he would personally like to admit, but the same could be true for Changgu because there was more than one occasion in which the younger came to him crying.

They were similar, and maybe that’s why Hwitaek found himself contemplating loving Changgu, too. Both were ugly criers and laughed too loudly. Hwitaek loved Changgu’s laugh.

God, Hwitaek loved Changgu and his heart was starting to feel too full, but of course he couldn’t stop with just five.

It felt like Yuto and Wooseok happened at the same time and Hwitaek had a very similar internal crisis as he did with Hyunggu. They were so young and innocent, arguably more innocent than Yanan. They were almost always together, maybe that’s why it felt like the fall for them was simultaneous. (And looking back on it, Hwitaek should have seen what was going on between them, what was going on between all of them, but he was too wrapped up in his own feelings at the time).

And Shinwon- god, Shinwon. Hwitaek would give the world to see Shinwon laugh and smile. When Shinwon got eliminated, it felt like the world was shattering. Hwitaek felt like his entire world was falling apart because he never, not once during Pentagon Maker, entertained the idea of losing one of the members, but he was suddenly faced with the possibility and-

Thinking about it make Hwitaek tear up all over again. They were all ten now, they were all okay, but just the thought of Shinwon not being there, of _any of them_ not being there, Hwitaek’s heart hurt.

That’s when he probably should have realized that his feelings for his members stretched beyond purely friendship.

Shinwon, though. From the moment Shinwon was brought back, confirmed to debut, Hwitaek promised that he would protect the younger no matter what. He loved Shinwon _so much,_ he couldn’t bear to see him or any of the other members go through such heartbreak again.

Hongseok was the last to “join” their group, maybe that’s why he was also the last for Hwitaek to realize his feelings for him. Then again, he might have been the first that Hwitaek fell in love with because he tried _so hard_. Hongseok wanted to fit in with their already tight-knit group so bad, wanted to befriend them and show that he was more than just a tacked-on trainee they were forced to share a dorm with.

He joked around and cleaned up after their messes and comforted whoever needed a shoulder to lean on and helped calm down anyone that was starting to get heated over a silly argument. Hwitaek should have noticed how quickly Hongseok melted his heart.

That was all the past, though. Eventually, Hwitaek was able to approach each and every member with the help of Jinho and address the feelings he’d been having. They took it well and Hwitaek was beyond relieved because he couldn’t imagine a life without his members, his family, his- now that they confirmed the reciprocated feelings- boyfriends.

Hwitaek wouldn’t trade any of them for the world. He loved them all individually, but, most importantly, all nine loved him back just as much.

 

 

(“Hyung?” Yuto was poking his side, trying to get Hwitaek’s attention.

“Hmm?” Hwitaek hummed back, head rolling lazily to the side to look down at Yuto, who was curled up against him.

“You’ve been spaced out for the past few minutes. We were starting to get worried,” Hongseok called out from across the room. Yanan had his head in the older’s lap; he probably fell asleep while trying to watch the movie that was currently on the tv.

Instead of explaining, Hwitaek just hummed again and threaded his hand through Yuto’s hair. Wooseok was on his other side, so he decided to run his hand through his hair as well.

“You know I love you guys, right?” Hwitaek said more than asked, leaning down briefly to press his lips against either maknae’s head.

“We know, hyung,” Hyunggu said from the other side of the couch, Changgu and Hyojong on top of him and some body parts tangling in with Wooseok’s long legs.

“You’re too sentimental,” Shinwon said from where he was wrapped around Jinho like a koala on the loveseat. Jinho made a noise and retaliated with a “He gets it from you,” which lead to more bickering, mainly from Wooseok, who said they were missing half the movie with their sappy love fighting.

Somehow, Hyojong was able to get Wooseok to shut up by sitting on top of him and kissing him every time he tried to open his mouth, and Hongseok was able to drag Jinho off the couch without waking up Yanan, only for Shinwon to complain about the lost warmth, ending up with Shinwon on the floor as well to reclaim his stolen human blanket.

It was a mess, and they ended up restarting the movie, but Hwitaek still wouldn’t trade them for the world.

He loved his boys maybe a bit too much.)

**Author's Note:**

> this is normally where i tell ppl to check out my writing blog (which ur free to do @polybooseoksoon on tumblr) but its 11:30 pm i have the ap psych test tomorrow and all i can think abt is an ot10 cuddle pile help me
> 
> (also someone talk to me abt tentagon theyre all i care abt rn)


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